Screaming Spots *circa 2005

harbors.beaches.cliffs.a lonely stretch of hardtop. anywhere isolated.

pebbles. and my heart.

i have prevented myself from going completely bonkers in the past through it. wherever life takes me, the first place
that i look for - a screaming spot. have a few of them scattered across the unfathomable miles. some i have not seen for
years, but still a part of my soul, and a part of me.

i had to one to talk to, or no one that understands before, and that became the spillway which i still cling on to, up to the
present, whenever there is something i cannot say. there i let it all out, mostly ending up panting and out of breath, on all
fours, clutching the ground and blinded by my tears. i have gone there with someone only one time  in these almost three
decades of being in this planet, although there have been a couple of  people who have thanked me for bringing it up,
according to these souls, having their own screaming spot kept them from the edge as well on a number of occasions.

how does it work? the two main ingredients are in the first two lines of the entry. then find time, or rather make time. ditch.
play hookey. it would be good if you had a journal or the like. each stone represents whatever you want to say or get out
of your system, and you hurl it with all your might as you scream your want, your intention, your hurt, your pain. it might
and it will feel awkward at first, remember though that it is your time and your hurt. let it loose. let it go.and do not cheat
yourself. oh by the way, cliffs might not be a good idea if it is your first time, i would not want you to jump off it if you get
too intense.

so scream.and scream till there is nothing else. scream until you are empty.

memoirs 09/12/05

WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND

WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND

Matt and Ivy

By Michael Martin

Matt slowly eased his car into the driveway and killed the engine. He smiled at the thought of the rest of the evening, glancing at the red Suzuki Swift resting peacefully on its 17 inch rims. “Boy she’s early today” he thought to himself as he gathered his belongings and walked the short graveled path to their front door. The Zen garden which he so loved he barely gave a glance to, hurrying as he was, it was a Friday, and sure it went all crazy just thirty minutes before he promised to do a hard stop, he was able to close it out. The work week is done, his Client happy, his Company quiet, and Matt on his driveway at six o’ clock sharp.

The television was off and the couch was immaculate in its black leather, new magazines and what looked like new books in a table beside the couch. There was no sign of activity during the day other than that. He took a couple of steps out into the hall and listened for noise near the stairs. Only a restful quiet greeted him. He didn’t notice a frown growing in his face, his jaw muscles clenching and a pout forming in his lips. Some weekend this is. He sauntered into the living room and was greeted with the same silence. “Kroatoan” was playing in his mind. He thought of turning around to change his clothes and felt the stronger pull of wanting to search the house first before doing so. Then a thought occurred to him. “What if - ?”

He slowly spun around, and killed the lights off as he passed them: dining room, hallway, stairs, and living room. He then went back and lit the light at the stairs again, noisily climbing up this time and opened all the lights in the master’s bedroom. Then he took his shoes off and hastily bounded down the stairs and out the front door. Catching his breath, he slowly traversed the left side of his house, his shoulder glued to the wall. There was a good five meters from the wall to the fence, but he took no chances. An evil grin was on his face, his eyes lit up with anticipation.

As he neared the edge, he slowly took a peek. Just as he thought, beside the pool and hunched behind the cabana, were Ivy, Carlitos and Isabel. The household helps and their driver were there too. They were exchanging glances and trying to keep the two toddlers from giving whatever they were planning away. Carlitos and Isabel were so excited that they literally looked like they were tensed springs as they crouched. He went down on his haunches, really worked up now. Crawling slowly to where they were, he was just not noticed in the middle of their anticipation. He finally reached them, and leaning over, he whispered: “Who are we waiting for?”

Carlitos answered: “Dada”

He asked again: “We are waiting for me?”

He was watching Carlitos intently and saw the boy mouth a “Yes” and then began to stiffen up. His smile was wide on his face as he watched his son slowly turn, awareness dawning in his wide eyes.

“Dada! You cheater! You were supposed to go through the door!” Carlitos screamed as he jumped his dad, simultaneous with the surprised exclamations of the household. He rolled on his back and embraced the boy, chest to chest as he laughed like a bear. Isabel squealed “Dada!” and leapt to his arms as well. Tears were in his eyes from laughing as the kids mussed him up. Then he heard a familiar voice in his ear, as lips grazed his cheek. “Welcome home Dada.” It was Ivy’s sultry voice welcoming him home, completing his universe and making life worth living.

Techno Major Geek Mode

The dour thing about owning IPods is that if your media library wasn't set up properly in the first place is that you will be spending a crazy amount of time trying to put it correctly from that point onwards.

I've spent the last two hours setting up my iPod. The princess? She's still arranging her songs. Tee Hee