oh f*ck! and interrupted weekends

i was browsing through blogpages today. i was cooped up in the boondocks again, having had my joyful rural/suburban (where does that mix? ask me, i might be nice enough to tell you the secret) drinking session unceremoniously cut off by morality and family values (this is the first oh f*ck). so what gives right? well i guess i am that kind of guy, too torn to function normally as a profligate wanton male, and too unlucky to break even at certain intervals in life (this is an eternal oh f*ck).

so what do you do? drive breakneck at 120 km/h and get your hormone levels to crash. a cold shower might be nice too. or a woman to talk to. maybe hold. well there isn't an option if you're like me (another oh f*ck). and what the f*ck am i writing about here, i'm supposed to be married and contented (prolly the biggest oh f*ck). the people who know me know about the questions i ask, and the alleys i either peer or go headlong into and i guess they understand (it's their oh sweet f*ck there goes mike again). maybe i ask to many questions and wont live life the way it's handed down. maybe that's the root of all this trouble.

i always get my answers to feed my mind.

i never do get, an answer that makes me smile. i end up more ground up than when i came in.

so here i was browsing through blogpages and happened to pore over this one, argh! i think i was the one mentioned in the conversation. or rather i was the one she was conversing with. wanted to help me out? sold her soul? errr....i know i had read it ages ago, but it does leap out right now in a way that it never did before. i guess it was more sh*tty than i ever imagined.

and hey. forgive me for dreaming. i didn't mean to push. which is the crux of all, the nexus of everything around me. if there is a recurrent theme in my life it would be "never meant to be".

that's for everyone. including the WWoftheS. although she's fighting hard to be here.