REQUIESCAT IN PACE - Erwin Bercasio

Around three years ago there was this gangly yet insanely cheerful gay guy that joined our inbound sales team. He was generally liked by the team and had forged friendships.

I left two years ago to join another start up team within the same company and we parted ways. The next time I saw him was early this year while I was smoking outside the lobby of one of the more known BPO's in the country. I had laughed when he asked if I was joining the firm and I reassured him that I thought this new company he was with was fine it was just not for me.

I'd bump into him occasionally and we'd smile and wave, we weren't really on speaking terms but he was always polite to a former superior which was heart warming. Then suddenly I didn't bump into him anymore.

I found out two weeks ago that he was in a coma. Yesterday that he went back to our maker. We weren't really close, I had never been invited to his birthday get together or he to mine, but we were cordial and he was a good person.

Taken too early. My condolences to your loved ones in this time of grief. May your soul rest in peace Wehn and say hi to heaven for us.

7 remittance firm execs charged for failing to remit OFW's money - Yahoo! Philippines News

7 remittance firm execs charged for failing to remit OFW's money - Yahoo! Philippines News

Now this one is something that makes you want to say yes to flogging and public beheadings. For people to do this when Pinoys brave the pain of separation and isolation not to mention the hazards of living as an immigrant (well truth be told we are a second class set of citizens in our own country but that's another story altogether) to try and eke out a decent living and help their families that remain in the country is just downright appalling.

Imagine if you were paying for a house mortgage so you'd have somewhere to retire and you lose it because these people hoodwinked you, or that someone was waiting for it to get himself out of the ICU.

Word of caution here from someone who was a migrant before too. Use the banks. A 2 peso mark-up is negligible when you lose all that you sent. Try and avoid these remittance companies altogether. Get with the program folks, it's the age of the internet and mobile banking. Now for you folks who are aware and receive remittances make sure you educate your relatives on how to go about electronic banking, I've seen countless pinoys living in first world countries and keep the "Saudi Boy" mentality. The door to door padala is so last century.

Enforce total ban on endosulfan in 2009, solon dares FPA - Yahoo! Philippines News

Oh this is fun. Well I know that their father was a great man, which had led them to get hmm, elected after he joined our creator, but seriously they turned out to be irksome with all the blah that they had. Anyway we all know that Pinoys love drama and boy do these siblings know how to rattle the bars.

So two years to election year and we do have to keep the name fresh right? Although, come to think of it - would it not be really beneficial to go after the shipping lines that was at fault (undeclared cargo, didn't heed warnings, etc.) rather than go after a government agency just because you are not with the administration? The two companies who are allowed to use it are well, allowed. So no real issues there right? Makes you wonder what the motivations are doesn't it?

Enforce total ban on endosulfan in 2009, solon dares FPA - Yahoo! Philippines News

The Long Held-up Rant About The Metro Rail System

A minute ago I was enjoying my Saturday, marinating in bed, fussing over the WMP tag editor for my music files and having a generally fine early afternoon.

Like it was meant to stay quiet huh? I got bugged to shave, bathe, eat bitter gourd and do the MRT bit that I've been meaning to do since forever. I find myself being pried from the weekend comfort zone like a slab of meat on a teflon pan.

So what do I do first? What keeps me in bed. So I blog.

This was taken on a normal day way before the X-mas rush. Begging pardon from the Yad Vashem, but it did evoke mental images of those Krakow trains during the Second World War. I had men breathing down my nape, a hard-on from some pervert scraping my thighs like clockwork (did you get your rocks off buddy?), a midget with his face right beside my underarm and my woman facing me, with her face slowly turning into a thunder cloud. I am thinking she had a scraper too.

Like wtf right? Is it too much to get a few more trains and de-clog the railway system? It's not a free service anyway. I wouldn't mind shelling out a couple of bucks more for a little space. The way it looks though, and the way that the trains arrive in always the interval it takes for them to get filled up this way tells you one thing - it is all about maximizing earnings.

Never mind that people are packed like luggage or cattle. It's all about the profit margin for the MRT management. If you ride the bus, it's the same thing. Those buses would just crawl to ensure that they dreg off all possible passengers and stop for unbelievable lengths of time that you get a stubble by the time you get to where you're going.

I hope someone from the MRT management reads this. Folks, are you even confident enough to let your relatives take the rails? How about you get a little compassion here to go along with all the money you are stuffing into your executive pockets? Hey we're just asking for a little space, not fully reclining seats. Who knows right? The judge up there might put in his book as a note - that you weren't always concerned about gilding your wallets.

Coffee on the 25th

So what's up? Everyone's, or most of everyone that is, may well be stone bleeding drunk or stuffed with food right now and in the middle of their after dinner cigars. Gaudy lights, merriment and laughter.

As usual with me, I find myself solitary which I like, as I've given my offspring time a couple of days ago and maybe some more time with the progenitor during the weekend. I told this person why I shunned making plans for these days and why I generally am a recluse after I've doled out the customary and obligatory gift giving. I will not expound on it here as it is too close to my heart to ever be said out aloud and we have to consider that what I said, I said to only one person ever.

I had made plans, and boy oh boy as I had expected, things fell apart What's new? Nothing. What's odd about it? Nothing as well. Why am I miffed? Because I hoped. Built around it, and canceled any plans the kids had made. To end up blogging at Starbuck's West Avenue was not in the plan at all. It makes me wonder sometimes why I even bother.

Anyway, in the spirit of it, a Merry Christmas to one and all. Here's to hoping you have your loved ones near and you have happiness in your hearts.

Coffee on the 25th

So what's up? Everyone's, or most of everyone that is, may well be stone bleeding drunk or stuffed with food right now and in the middle of their after dinner cigars.  Gaudy lights, merriment and laughter.

As usual with me, I find myself solitary which I like, as I've given my offspring time a couple of days ago and maybe some more time with the progenitor during the weekend. I told this person why I shunned making plans for these days and why I generally am a recluse after I've doled out the customary and obligatory gift giving.  I will not expound on it here as it is too close to my heart to ever be said out aloud and we have to consider that what I said, I said to only one person ever.

I had made plans, and boy oh boy as I had expected, things fell apart What's new? Nothing. What's odd about it? Nothing as well. Why am I miffed? Because I hoped. Built around it, and canceled any plans the kids had made. To end up blogging at Starbuck's West Avenue was not in the plan at all. It makes me wonder sometimes why I even bother.

Anyway, in the spirit of it, a Merry Christmas to one and all. Here's to hoping you have your loved ones near and you have happiness in your hearts.

 

What I'm Running After

Part of the quest for the lost talismans.

Hoping to buy it soon.

What I'm Running After

Part of the quest for the lost talismans.

Hoping to buy it soon.

Hats Off To The Colbert Report

From the show: "Personal massagers were originally invented for your shoulders, and we all know how that turned out." Oh and that in this season, he had a "raging pardon". If you haven't caught it yet, you better get the Comedy network. Go and dial now.

For a CNN and BBC junkie, this show is dang fresh baby. Makes you laugh and forget your consternation about the news in general. For a former segment of the Today's Show, these folks have come a long long way.

How in the hell do these writers think of that freaking funny sick sh*t anyway? One thing is for sure, along with the new year, I'd like to see how these folks spin on the new U.S. head honcho. Ought to be tons of fun.

Anyway, I'm off to relax and wait for Santa so toodles. Y'all have a merry one now!

Mount-ed Everest

Oh this was so damned fun (which incidentally turned to the exorcist and the poltergeist rolled into one small pita bread in the early evening). Spent the day on the road traversing the near southern areas of Luzon, including those almost vertical pineapple farm plots tucked in the rolling hills of Tagaytay. It was a suspenseful ride reaching them using those oh so narrow roads (kind of like those that lead to the pearly gates eh?) with a full sized SUV.  If you are one of those who in your childhood needed nutri-buns, yes the title means we rode (mounted) on a Ford SUV (Everest).

We were actually afraid of being covered on pineapple needles and not severe concussions and or a slow agonizing death which was so hilarious considering everyone on board was stone cold sober. Too bad we did not have time to go grab coffee.

I'm having breakfast at the moment, and juggling Helga (my laptop) a loaf of bread, a pot of Folger's, sauteed corned beef and cigarettes. Nifty eh? 

Windowsills and A Flowerpot Falling Into Your Noggin

Which actually should be the first line and not the title. Anyway, I haven't had this surge in a long time so I will jut tap tap tap on the keyboard until I am exhausted or the idea is.

I was starting my day when I realized it... The reason why I have not been writing or have had the urge to pen it down - my thoughts, my angst, those rants and raves and railing and wailing and all of that rot that swirls around my universe.

There is no need to. Where before there was this void that needed validation, this fondness for writing borne out of the need to converse and say things that I felt strongly about and not finding either the venue or people to express it through.

I had walked under countless windowsills and always had come away disappointed and/or disillusioned when I get invited to come in the front door. Or when rebuffed and denied entry. So the escape became like a lover, the faceless woman. Companion, friend and lover.

I lost her a year back and didn't fully grasp the idea that she was my muse. I've been so enmeshed in the rebuilding that I didn't notice or give the due introspection I usually did. My muse is alive and in the flesh. I can talk now, to her. The trick here now is - To still keep writing because I love doing it, and make it work. Maybe I should carry a voice recorder. Here we are, after the jump.

The Thirty Third

So I haven't really been writing for a while now and the brain is getting stale. The itch is not there to begin with, plus I have been so preoccupied with all the restructuring entailed.

Well it's hours past my thirty third birthday and believe it or not kiddies, I spent most of it tucked under blankets. I still am right now and thank the geeks for wi-fi eh? I have Alanis Morissette singing her cover of King Of Pain and yes, everything is dandy in the Derck's universe.

I like the solitude. Which was hard for a some folks to deal with. I am not big with syrupy closeness like what this current season entails. Not a freaking scrooge mind you, just not hung up on it. If you like it then by all means, enjoy.

So here starts a new year for me. Have no idea of where I am leading my life to or whether it's leading me. I am sold to the conviction though, that I will live this time to the fullest. Have a merry blasted x-mas everyone.

Time Flies When You're All Messed Up

 

Didn't notice it was midnight already. My head's buzzing like it was kept in a blender for hours and then pounded just for good measure. So much for wanting to create a blog space huh?

Well wtf? There'll be other days.

The Cusp Of Change

Now I have a draft of a blog entry that I think I'm glad I did not post yet. I was mad at that time and was being my unpleasant bigot self. I actually enumerated all of the reasons why I wasn't "lesser". It's good that I held back. I was never lesser. Not the five unbroken generations of my family that folks take their hats off in the hometown whenever members of my clan pass them by. Not the ancestral home that stood when these testy folks that drew my ire were just toadstools and tenant farmers wishing the next generation could somehow get an elelmentary education. Wait I am going there again.

The items being: Yes I deliberately tore my life apart. Personally and professionally. Found out too that the world is full of judgmental bigot wannabees. Let me put it this way, at my poorest, I may have been still miles ahead. Funny thing, a person earns a penny and thinks it's a pound, gets an entry level officer position and thinks the world is conquered.

Here is the crux folks. I prove my worth to myself, not to anyone. I do not answer to you or anyone else except my maker. I write because I love to, I developed people as officers because I loved the look in their eyes when they start respecting themselves and learn to respect others too. I take long walks. I take long drive. I love having my passport marked. Because I do. Not because I need to fulfill some ardent urge to gain approval. As Amiel cleverly remarked one "eh, noveau rich".

Now I went back to the horse and rode it. Surprise surprise. So where does it lead us now? I let you sling and sling. I was levels apart when I took a rest and I was asked to "prove myself". So what do I get now? A plaque? Appreciation? Approval? What is that worth to me? Will it improve the quality of my life?

What do you do when you come across me again?

Wise folks hold their tongue. For all you know, the person you are cutting to the bone may have the ability to mess up things and just has learned that it doesn't do anything for him anymore. That being in the background lets him sleep better at night. That there is so much more than prestige, status, and wealth. That maybe he can say that because he had it, and still has it, only he doesn't want to go flaunting to give you your satisfaction since it's pointless. You don't count anyway. As I don't too.

In the end, if you can sleep at night and smile when you wake up then all is ok. What ever ruckus everyone outside does is irrelevant.

And in the end, the real friends say "I wish you well".

The Cusp Of Change

Now I have a draft of a blog entry that I think I'm glad I did not post yet. I was mad at that time and was being my unpleasant bigot self. I actually enumerated all of the reasons why I wasn't "lesser". It's good that I held back. I was never lesser. Not the five unbroken generations of my family that folks take their hats off in the hometown whenever members of my clan pass them by. Not the ancestral home that stood when these testy folks that drew my ire were just toadstools and tenant farmers wishing the next generation could somehow get an elelmentary education. Wait I am going there again.

The items being: Yes I deliberately tore my life apart. Personally and professionally. Found out too that the world is full of judgmental bigot wannabees. Let me put it this way, at my poorest, I may have been still miles ahead. Funny thing, a person earns a penny and thinks it's a pound, gets an entry level officer position and thinks the world is conquered.

Here is the crux folks. I prove my worth to myself, not to anyone. I do not answer to you or anyone else except my maker. I write because I love to, I developed people as officers because I loved the look in their eyes when they start respecting themselves and learn to respect others too. I take long walks. I take long drive. I love having my passport marked. Because I do. Not because I need to fulfill some ardent urge to gain approval. As Amiel cleverly remarked one "eh, noveau rich".

Now I went back to the horse and rode it. Surprise surprise. So where does it lead us now? I let you sling and sling. I was levels apart when I took a rest and I was asked to "prove myself". So what do I get now? A plaque? Appreciation? Approval? What is that worth to me? Will it improve the quality of my life?

What do you do when you come across me again?

Wise folks hold their tongue. For all you know, the person you are cutting to the bone may have the ability to mess up things and just has learned that it doesn't do anything for him anymore. That being in the background lets him sleep better at night. That there is so much more than prestige, status, and wealth. That maybe he can say that because he had it, and still has it, only he doesn't want to go flaunting to give you your satisfaction since it's pointless. You don't count anyway. As I don't too.

In the end, if you can sleep at night and smile when you wake up then all is ok. What ever ruckus everyone outside does is irrelevant.

And in the end, the real friends say "I wish you well".

Stumped

At the pain of being called a fraud, I'll put this in anyway.

I have six pages with me. Three stories and four album reviews. I was going to put them all in or at least what I could with what I have in my pocket worth of broadband time.

I ended laughing my bollocks off. Which I am still doing while I am laying this down, and without any intention of giving man birth to any of what I've made.

Oh f*ck this is so motherf*cking hilarious. I find myself so stumped and doubled over I am spliting in the seams.

What am I laughing at? Life. All i has thrown and it hasn't finished yet. What was it that Albert Mondiego had said? I think it's relevant at the moment; for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Tee hee.

Stumped

At the pain of being called a fraud, I'll put this in anyway.

I have six pages with me. Three stories and four album reviews. I was going to put them all in or at least what I could with what I have in my pocket worth of broadband time.

I ended laughing my bollocks off. Which I am still doing while I am laying this down, and without any intention of giving man birth to any of what I've made.

Oh f*ck this is so motherf*cking hilarious. I find myself so stumped and doubled over I am spliting in the seams.

What am I laughing at? Life. All i has thrown and it hasn't finished yet. What was it that Albert Mondiego had said? I think it's relevant at the moment; for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Tee hee.

From The Diary 07/08/2008

Circuitous Events, The Hand Of Providence and The Guy Named Gerry

So there we were, at the cusp and bosom of yet another milestone. Eighths we call them for that is precisely what they are. Now I would really like to go all numerology on you but hey, the derck is a blogger however odoriferous the word may be.

Well the day had been going completely bonkers for me up to that point of the day. There were a couple of minute bright spots and that was that. The princess had gone through a pretty hellacious patch herself. A very big patch. Almost like a blanket. So the birthday card and the first letter in a decade were mailed to her-who-should-be-called-mom, the venerable office of crooked lawyers cleared m, and we were currently crossing the abbey road in the starting rain, bereft yet happy.

A voice pipes out from the multitude and I snap my head in its direction. There in the not too far off distance was one of the more interesting petite young woman I've known. She had someone with her, the long talked about him I was guessing. One of those alpha-males I've been told. We join them and after the hugs and light banter of hellos and introductions, find ourselves dragged to lunch at Gerry's.

The meal we got treated to was a hoot. That's putting it mildly. It never ceases to amaze me how good things have the potential to become infinitely better when shared. The food was great, the conversation albeit somewhat awkward was honest. If there was a curve where everyone relaxed, it was hard to tell. It was just the frankness and openness that maybe took things to where they went. Truth be told, it's been sometime since I was that loose around folks. Goodbyes were soon given, handshakes and hugs doled out. Damn cool for people who planned for happy meals. Providence rolled out way happy ones.

I don't mean to be prophetic here, but I just may have found Charlie Runkel. The "whadup Runkel?"

The Marce too.

Makes you stop and furrow your brows doesn't it?

From The Diary 07/08/2008

Circuitous Events, The Hand Of Providence and The Guy Named Gerry

So there we were, at the cusp and bosom of yet another milestone. Eighths we call them for that is precisely what they are. Now I would really like to go all numerology on you but hey, the derck is a blogger however odoriferous the word may be.

Well the day had been going completely bonkers for me up to that point of the day. There were a couple of minute bright spots and that was that. The princess had gone through a pretty hellacious patch herself. A very big patch. Almost like a blanket. So the birthday card and the first letter in a decade were mailed to her-who-should-be-called-mom, the venerable office of crooked lawyers cleared m, and we were currently crossing the abbey road in the starting rain, bereft yet happy.

A voice pipes out from the multitude and I snap my head in its direction. There in the not too far off distance was one of the more interesting petite young woman I've known. She had someone with her, the long talked about him I was guessing. One of those alpha-males I've been told. We join them and after the hugs and light banter of hellos and introductions, find ourselves dragged to lunch at Gerry's.

The meal we got treated to was a hoot. That's putting it mildly. It never ceases to amaze me how good things have the potential to become infinitely better when shared. The food was great, the conversation albeit somewhat awkward was honest. If there was a curve where everyone relaxed, it was hard to tell. It was just the frankness and openness that maybe took things to where they went. Truth be told, it's been sometime since I was that loose around folks. Goodbyes were soon given, handshakes and hugs doled out. Damn cool for people who planned for happy meals. Providence rolled out way happy ones.

I don't mean to be prophetic here, but I just may have found Charlie Runkel. The "whadup Runkel?"

The Marce too.

Makes you stop and furrow your brows doesn't it?

Tick - Tock or Finger Tapping in the Waiting Room

The paper bundle keeps getting higher and higher. I am starting to get blisters from all the writing I do. Pauper that I am though, am unable to get them sorted out yet. Or to get the thoughts across yet. There is time for all of it. I will come out in one piece. It shall all pass as all does. I will rebuild; I am rebuilding.

Having fun despite all of it. For the first time in a long time I feel I am alive and that there is a purpose for being here. I think I've reached something infinitely precious with my kids that I didn't really have before despite our closeness.

I dance and run in the rain again. This time without tears.

Tick - Tock or Finger Tapping in the Waiting Room

The paper bundle keeps getting higher and higher. I am starting to get blisters from all the writing I do. Pauper that I am though, am unable to get them sorted out yet. Or to get the thoughts across yet. There is time for all of it. I will come out in one piece. It shall all pass as all does. I will rebuild; I am rebuilding.

Having fun despite all of it. For the first time in a long time I feel I am alive and that there is a purpose for being here. I think I've reached something infinitely precious with my kids that I didn't really have before despite our closeness.

I dance and run in the rain again. This time without tears.

On House Inquiries, Tycoons, Conscience and the ability to sleep soundly

Now I told myself I would not join the bandwagon. We grieve for the deaths, the senseless ones when that Sulpicio ship sank during the typhoon. We are outraged at the undeclared pesticides that would ruin livelihood and destroy nature if it ever leaked into the sea.

This will be short. F*ck everyone who is finger pointing now. Please be reminded that there may actually be a God when you die, He may not willingly accept the confession you did or the donation you gave to the church or the people that you helped because buddy, you reaped more from it.

It was teeth grinding how Hon Suarez and Fuentebella were grilling PAGASA officials on the news earlier. Need anyone be told that it is actually these comedians that pass the yearly government budget. If they really wanted to, why not appropriate their pork to it instead of grandstanding on the telly?

Everyone one knows we are pathetically antiquated technologically. We can't even defend our country from a school of fish if they wanted to attack. To hear someone say on the news something to the effect of "You sent it through SMS. Are you joking?" is damned sick. YOU are the one who is joking buddy. You and everyone else who keep calling inquiries that just waste the tax payers money. You know what you can really do, so why don't you just go do what you were voted for? Oh yeah right. Were you voted in at all? So much for public service ey? Pinoys always fall for the grandstanding. Bleh.

Now for the ship owner. Why don't we just be people and stand up to our accountabilities? Buddha on a spiked wheelchair you knew where the ship was going, where the typhoon was and sure as hell know what your ship contains. Or at least someone under you. I am a cruddy manager but even then I knew all that went on under me. I made it a point to. You mean to make us believe that no one knew? Really? Take it in the chin and say it's your fault. Everyone agreed to be bought off by 200,000 pesos anyway. Oh yeah, there may be class action suits.

Finally. For the regular juans out there like me. When are we going to put a stop to the cycle? When will we say enough to all of it? To crooked politicians who we allow to buy our votes, to a crippled justice system that strangles the under privileged, to businessmen that do not have an ounce of civic duty and accountability in their veins? To the cycle of greed and abuse? It stops when we say it does and when we do what it takes. Only then folks, only then. Or we could wait for Christ to return and let ourselves get raped until taht time comes.

On House Inquiries, Tycoons, Conscience and the ability to sleep soundly

Now I told myself I would not join the bandwagon. We grieve for the deaths, the senseless ones when that Sulpicio ship sank during the typhoon. We are outraged at the undeclared pesticides that would ruin livelihood and destroy nature if it ever leaked into the sea.

This will be short. F*ck everyone who is finger pointing now. Please be reminded that there may actually be a God when you die, He may not willingly accept the confession you did or the donation you gave to the church or the people that you helped because buddy, you reaped more from it.

It was teeth grinding how Hon Suarez and Fuentebella were grilling PAGASA officials on the news earlier. Need anyone be told that it is actually these comedians that pass the yearly government budget. If they really wanted to, why not appropriate their pork to it instead of grandstanding on the telly?

Everyone one knows we are pathetically antiquated technologically. We can't even defend our country from a school of fish if they wanted to attack. To hear someone say on the news something to the effect of "You sent it through SMS. Are you joking?" is damned sick. YOU are the one who is joking buddy. You and everyone else who keep calling inquiries that just waste the tax payers money. You know what you can really do, so why don't you just go do what you were voted for? Oh yeah right. Were you voted in at all? So much for public service ey? Pinoys always fall for the grandstanding. Bleh.

Now for the ship owner. Why don't we just be people and stand up to our accountabilities? Buddha on a spiked wheelchair you knew where the ship was going, where the typhoon was and sure as hell know what your ship contains. Or at least someone under you. I am a cruddy manager but even then I knew all that went on under me. I made it a point to. You mean to make us believe that no one knew? Really? Take it in the chin and say it's your fault. Everyone agreed to be bought off by 200,000 pesos anyway. Oh yeah, there may be class action suits.

Finally. For the regular juans out there like me. When are we going to put a stop to the cycle? When will we say enough to all of it? To crooked politicians who we allow to buy our votes, to a crippled justice system that strangles the under privileged, to businessmen that do not have an ounce of civic duty and accountability in their veins? To the cycle of greed and abuse? It stops when we say it does and when we do what it takes. Only then folks, only then. Or we could wait for Christ to return and let ourselves get raped until taht time comes.

Downtrodden

Hmmm... News from the front. Second week of no carbs on the diet. Working out a lot. Have Collins, Desplechin and Marquez on the plate it seems.

Have a couple of stories and a hell of a lot of reviews for posting. Made me sure of this too.

I can't write at all with old school tools. My fingers and my psyche demand a keyboard. I have a lot of pages with me and I so do not feel like typing them back on the screen. One birthing process is enough.

Actually at a cafe. It feels so alien to go and work here. Meaning, to post my thoughts using this computer.

Life's a bitch aint it? Do I sound disjointed? Well I actually am. This feels so weird. I went here hoping to post some stuff, and now I find I can't do it.

Anyone with a broken down run down piece of crap pc that they don't want anymore? I'll take it. I'll take it even if it's a Pentium Plan. Pun intended. F*ck.

Downtrodden

Hmmm... News from the front. Second week of no carbs on the diet. Working out a lot. Have Collins, Desplechin and Marquez on the plate it seems.

Have a couple of stories and a hell of a lot of reviews for posting. Made me sure of this too.

I can't write at all with old school tools. My fingers and my psyche demand a keyboard. I have a lot of pages with me and I so do not feel like typing them back on the screen. One birthing process is enough.

Actually at a cafe. It feels so alien to go and work here. Meaning, to post my thoughts using this computer.

Life's a bitch aint it? Do I sound disjointed? Well I actually am. This feels so weird. I went here hoping to post some stuff, and now I find I can't do it.

Anyone with a broken down run down piece of crap pc that they don't want anymore? I'll take it. I'll take it even if it's a Pentium Plan. Pun intended. F*ck.

Morning Glory

Hokay. So for anyone who ever cared to read the garbage I spew here, we all know that I had let my life explode to smithereens. Yes I did. I tore this page apart too and well, it hasnt been the same since. Now if there were queries if I have come to regret any of it, the answer is - NO.

Bumming right now, the vacation is well...wait....four more days to officially make it a month. Lost all of what folks said was important, and realized that all of it was superficial. None of it made any more sense to me, and I felt so tired about all of it. It held no meaning for me anymore. So what do you do then? I got up my desk, and walked away.

Been sleeping a lot and looking around. Haven't picked up a pen although I did dawdle. Ended up with a lot of incoherent phrases. So I didn't. No net no phones no nothing. Fall off the edge of the planet, and do it literally. Kept taking notes though, so if anyone thought I was spent, oh baby you should see the axe I keep sharp at the back of my door. I just don't want to go chopping just yet.

There are stories to be told, of here and there. Enough of the wandering soul. There is a tale to be told here, and I believe there will be a lot of hate when I start opening my mouth. Then again, I've made a lot of enemies and false friends too. Funny how people can be so strong when your back is turned to them. Oh yeah, please remember why you couldn't really go toe to toe with me, because well... I think I've turned nice. But I am still vengeful. Yeah nice. But not a saint.

Why am I resurfacing? There are a lot of tales. Of places. Of occurences. Of people. Of love. I am a writer first and foremost. I write and I blab. Now if you don't like me, have never or will never, here's what I tell you with a smile: "You may bite my brown hairy butt."

Now go on to the other more substantial bloggers out there. Shoo!

Morning Glory

Hokay. So for anyone who ever cared to read the garbage I spew here, we all know that I had let my life explode to smithereens. Yes I did. I tore this page apart too and well, it hasnt been the same since. Now if there were queries if I have come to regret any of it, the answer is - NO.

Bumming right now, the vacation is well...wait....four more days to officially make it a month. Lost all of what folks said was important, and realized that all of it was superficial. None of it made any more sense to me, and I felt so tired about all of it. It held no meaning for me anymore. So what do you do then? I got up my desk, and walked away.

Been sleeping a lot and looking around. Haven't picked up a pen although I did dawdle. Ended up with a lot of incoherent phrases. So I didn't. No net no phones no nothing. Fall off the edge of the planet, and do it literally. Kept taking notes though, so if anyone thought I was spent, oh baby you should see the axe I keep sharp at the back of my door. I just don't want to go chopping just yet.

There are stories to be told, of here and there. Enough of the wandering soul. There is a tale to be told here, and I believe there will be a lot of hate when I start opening my mouth. Then again, I've made a lot of enemies and false friends too. Funny how people can be so strong when your back is turned to them. Oh yeah, please remember why you couldn't really go toe to toe with me, because well... I think I've turned nice. But I am still vengeful. Yeah nice. But not a saint.

Why am I resurfacing? There are a lot of tales. Of places. Of occurences. Of people. Of love. I am a writer first and foremost. I write and I blab. Now if you don't like me, have never or will never, here's what I tell you with a smile: "You may bite my brown hairy butt."

Now go on to the other more substantial bloggers out there. Shoo!